Tag Archives: inducing labor

You will never believe this.

27 Feb

I know you won’t believe it because it happened to me and I’m still in shock.

Do you see that goal there? "to have a Baby Boy!" Totally not accomplished.

Do you see that goal there? “to have a Baby Boy!”
FAIL.

The unthinkable has happened. I am sitting at home and am still pregnant.

After a sleepless night last night, I got a call at 5am saying to come in for the induction and we arrived at the hospital about an hour later. I hadn’t dilated at all since my appointment last week, so they put some kind of drug (I can’t remember what it’s called) on my cervix to make it soften and dilate.

Over the course of the next 12 hours I started having contractions about 1.5-3 minutes apart, but they never really started to get painful or intense.

See the printout on the right? Those are my contractions!

Please refer to printout on the right for proof that I WAS actually having contractions.

My doctor finally came in and checked my progress and absolutely n.o.t.h.i.n.g. had changed during the 12 hours I had been there. What? Yes. No progress.

Our doctor gave us our options:
1. Go home and wait a few days
2. Have the doctor break my water and hope things got going

Even though the thought of having him break my water was really appealing at the time (because then we definitely would be having a baby within 24 hours), we realized that the risks were just too high. After all, nothing happened after the first round of drugs, so if there still was no progress after that I would just end up having to have a c-section. No thank you.

So here I am at home, hanging out with Michael and my mama (who traveled here just for this… sorry mom!), trying to figure out what to do for the next few days. Any ideas? Watch more 24? Um, yes, don’t mind if I do. Obviously there will be another few rounds of self-therapy self-tanning…

Induction pt. 2 coming Saturday, March 2. Stay tuned. Let’s hope this next round is more successful…

Woman with a Plan

22 Feb

After yesterday’s disappointing news at the doctor’s office I hit the self-tanner pretty hard as a form of self-therapy. Yes, I deal with stress by turning my skin orange. Don’t judge, it certainly isn’t the worst form of stress-management out there. I guess having newly (and artificially)-bronzed skin makes me feel just a tad bit more attractive, which, I firmly believe, is very important during pregnancy.

You gotta do what you gotta do to feel cute, right? After all, a giant belly certainly doesn’t do much for the self-esteem, whether it be from a human baby or a food baby.

I was trying (unsuccessfully) to explain this whole concept to Michael last night while we were out shopping for some last-minute baby-time items… He couldn’t understand why I wanted the cheap neon orange sports bra over the cheap black sports bra to wear under my hospital gown.

Luckily, JCPenney filled that particular void in my life and I walked out of the mall with this fancy little thing (okay, honesty time… pregnancy has affected my body in such a way that the word ‘little’ isn’t super accurate when describing my bras anymore) for only $14:

Cute, no?

A flash of neon under my hospital gown? Don’t mind if I do!
And yes, I’ve already thought about how awesome this
color will look against my (fake) tanned skin.

Sorry, I was just so excited about that cute thing that I couldn’t help but share.

Ps: the reason I’m getting a bra specifically for labor is because my hospital is all about immediate skin-to-skin contact. I’ve read a lot about it and apparently it has all kinds of benefits for the baby. But. Babies are covered in all kinds of nastiness when they are… freshly squeezed… and I don’t want to be wearing a bra that I’ll use ever again. I just don’t want to live in a world where it’s acceptable to wear articles of clothing that have once been covered in blood and slime and¬†baby poop.

Moving on… I have a plan. Forget about my hesitation from yesterday, this little boy is going to be out by midnight tomorrow night. I have all of the necessary protocols in place to make it happen.

Phase 1: These little cuties. No big deal, but I’ve already eaten an entire one. It got kind of brutal toward the end… and my tongue is now covered in tiny little blisters. But hey, if it gets the job done…

Apparently pineapples contain bromelain, an enzyme that can soften the cervix.

Apparently pineapples contain bromelain, an enzyme softens the cervix.

Phase 2: I’ve been walking pretty much all day long. 4 miles, to be exact. And yes, it did take this pregnant chick all day to accomplish this feat because I broke it up into mini sessions. And now my back is killllling me. But it will all be worth it when I’m holding a little baby boy in my arms rather than my uterus at midnight tomorrow.

Phase 3: Evening Primrose Oil. Chalk full of prostaglandins, the stuff that softens the cervix. I’m allll over this stuff.

This 3-phase plan is my Trifecta of Success and will get things going so that my goal is accomplished by midnight. I have never been more determined to make something happen in my entire life, so I know it will happen (do you see how I’m relying on the power of positive thinking to produce a son and heir? If only the European monarchs had as much optimism as I do).

I shall update you when the contractions begin. And they will begin soon.