Tag Archives: emo

No News

21 Feb

You know that saying ‘no news is good news’? Well turns out it’s a dirty lie.

I know this because I had a doctor’s appointment today and found out that not much is going on in terms of progress for me. I’m somewhere between 1 and 2 centimeters dilated and about 60% effaced. Just to recap, I was a little under 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced at my last appointment a week ago. Sigh.

All last week I could feel the little guy using his head as a battering ram against my cervix (which, btw, feels about as awesome as it sounds), so I was pretty sure I would see a bit more progress, but no dice. And I was planning on having my membranes stripped today but I wasn’t dilated enough. Sad day.

He (my doctor) also told me that I have a “pretty decent sized” little person in me, which, he went on to explain, means that the little monster is probably “only” 8 or 9 lbs. Does that seem gigantic to anyone else? Because I’m thinking it sounds absolutely huge.

On the bright side, I still have a few more days to process.

I’ve been thinking seriously all week about this whole “labor” thing… and also the whole “baby” thing, and it’s a little overwhelming. I mean, I obviously knew what the end result of my adventures through pregnancy was, but I’m feeling seriously, seriously under-qualified to deal with the massive project of raising a human baby into a successful adult.

So even though I feel like I’ve been waiting for years to go into labor, I’m really appreciating the extra time at this very moment.

One thing for sure is that I’m definitely down to days (and not weeks… or months…) because I have an induction scheduled for next week. The plan is that I’m going to go into the hospital for a Fetal Non-Stress Test (remember the last time I had one of those?) and if everything looks good I’ll be induced on Wednesday morning. 6 DAYS! What? I know, crazy.

Having an induction makes me really nervous that I won’t be able to do a natural birth. When labor is induced, doctors use a drug called Pitocin, a synthetic form of the hormone oxytocin which stimulates contractions. With Pitocin, however, contractions come a lot harder and stronger, making them waaay more painful than natural contractions… meaning that it’s much more difficult to deal with the pain. And. When labor is induced the chances of a cesarean increase as well.

I guess what this all boils down to is that I have had a bit of a stressful day trying to wrap my mind around everything. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m also (kinda) panicking a little. Only 6 more days of pregnancy… going into labor… the possibility of not being able to follow anything in my plan… coming home with a baby… my life changing forever… Yikes. That’s a lot to deal with.

Um, yes. Now that you’re thinking about it, I wouldn’t mind some words of advice… The countdown is on, after all, and I’m feeling the deadline coming up quick…

23 Week Bumpdate

21 Oct
23 Weeks

23 Weeks

New this week: Nothing new this week, actually. A lot of kicking and punching (I think he’s attempting to get his black belt in utero). More heartburn (I’m almost out of Tums). Another emotional breakdown (I’m starting to feel really bad for Michael… he’s turning into quite the experienced counselor).

I feel like I’ve ballooned this week… Either I’ve gotten really fat really fast or little man is going through a huge growth spurt. He almost weighs a whole pound! I heard (on Grey’s Anatomy so I know it’s true) that babies can usually survive if they are born early at around 24 weeks. 1 lb. is the magic number. Not that I’m thinking I’ll deliver early, but I like to know that things will (probably) be okay if anything should go south.

Does that make me sound paranoid? I think it might be a symptom of pregnancy…

Superfoods: Condiment Edition

15 Oct

This week, the superfood I will be focusing on is ketchup!

Ketchup

Yes, that’s right. Ketchup.

Made of tomatoes, vinegar, and sugar, ketchup is one of the healthiest foods you can find. It is packed full of vitamins A through Z and… calcium… and… okay, just kidding. Ketchup isn’t a superfood. Turns out it isn’t even good for you.

But.

I need to do some serious catching up this week (get it? Ketchup… Catch-up? I’m so funny).

Pretty much I’m going to go back and do 1 more kale and 1 more carrot recipe because I just didn’t give these superfoods enough love during their respective weeks. Party party!

Carrots + Kale

Carrots + Kale. Maybe combined? Okay, let’s not get too crazy.

Also. I went jogging today! This was quite the event, since I pretty much didn’t move at all last week. At all. But after listening to this talk, I’m determined to love running (and life in general) more. Because it turns out that I’ve been dreading it and hating every step lately. So sad.

Today was better. I was really focused on not checking to see how far I’d gone or how fast I was running and just staying in the moment. All was going well until I slipped on a bridge (dang rain makes everything so slippery), fell, and hurt my shoulder just a tad. I’m going to go ahead and call it a sports-related injury.

Here are some great quotes from that talk that I just love:

“Sometimes in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the journey.”

“Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?”

[ahem… me on every.single.run.]

“We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect.”

I feel like I’m usually really good about loving life when I’m in the moment–particularly running–but lately, I feel like it’s just another thing to check off of my to-do list. Isn’t that sad? I love running! Unhealthily, even. But I just don’t love it these days, so my goal for this week is to suffer through it less and love it more.

Is anyone else going through the exercise dumps?
How do you stay positive?

22 Week Bumpdate

14 Oct
22 Weeks

22 Weeks!

New this week: Michael felt little man kicking! So much fun. He still is wiggling all over the place, but the movements are getting bigger and stronger. I kind of love it.

Aaand.

I had my first oh-crap-what-have-I-gotten-myself-into-I’m-not-mature-enough-to-have-a-baby breakdown. I was sitting at my laptop writing one moment, and the other I was sitting on my bed in a puddle of tears (and other liquids… let’s not forget that I have been getting over a cold… So, yeah. It was a messy cry). I just go SO overwhelmed thinking about all of the changes that are coming my way.

First of all, my body. Already not my own. I love running. Love it, love it, love it! But these days, getting a few miles in is like moving a mountain. And I have really started missing it. I can’t help but wish I was busy pounding out long runs, but I have just had to accept that my body has different limitations these days.

Second, my time. Still mine for another 4 months, but after that, I have a feeling that every minute will have a slobbery little person attached to it. Not that I’m not looking forward to it, but there’s no denying that my life is going to change dramatically in just a few short weeks (18, to be specific).

Third. Gosh, I just can’t wrap my mind around numbers 1 and 2, so I’m gonna stick with those for now… Digest the changes slowly, you know? In the meantime I’m just gonna look forward to that slobbery little boy who I’m going to meet in February and hope he’ll make all of these crazy changes worth it.

This Time Next Year…

4 Oct

A year from today, I plan on being in awesome shape and finishing up my last few 20-mile runs to get ready for my first marathon as a mom. Third marathon overall, first marathon as a mom. Bah! Is it just me or does that sound way.more.terrifying?

Despite my trepidation, I think I’ve found next year’s fall marathon! I have set my sights on this gorgeous locale:

Leavenworth

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Leavenworth, Washington

Leavenworth is this cute town in the Cascade mountains that looks like a little Bavarian village and just so happens to be the prospective location of my next major running conquest.

The Leavenworth Oktoberfest Marathon is going on this weekend and I am a little bit dying to go watch… I’m a sucker for these things. Is anyone else out there crazy for spectating at running events? You know, runners in their natural element, going and going until they puke.

Yep, I eat that crap up.

In the meantime, I’ll be doing my little C210K plan and loving the fact that I am very much out of marathon shape, getting fatter by the day, and loving the little kicks on my (usually very full) bladder.

[Speaking of bladders… I was talking to Michael the other day and mentioned that running is way different now that I’m pregnant because it’s like little man gets super bounced on his own personal trampoline with every step I take. He just responded by saying “fun,” but then he got this distant look in his eyes and lost himself in what I can only imagine was a fantasy about getting super bounced on a trampoline all his own. He was out of it for awhile after that… I think he’s been jealous of our unborn son ever since.]

Which brings me to my second point. Examine these pictures from my first two marathons and tell me what they have in common:

Mesa Falls Marathon

At the start of the Mesa Falls Marathon in 2010

Mesa Falls with Michael

Toward the end of the Mesa Falls Marathon

Ogden Marathon with Jill

At mile 8 in the Ogden Marathon

Ogden Marathon Finish

My favorite moment of the Ogden Marathon: the finish
(we got chocolate milk and bread, so obviously I was pretty happy)

The answer: I’m with a running partner.

Michael ran the Mesa Falls Marathon with me (on a whim… he finished an olympic triathlon the weekend before and the night before the race he was like… yeah, why not? and then signed up. Ridiculous.) and my sister Jill trained for and ran the Ogden Marathon with me. Have I mentioned that we had a total blast together? Nothing brings two people together quite like self-inflicted suffering. True story.

But having moved to Seattle just a few months ago, I have yet to find a running buddy, nevermind a running buddy who I can keep up with (have you noticed my growing belly? Yeah, turns out that it’s been slowing me down these days).

Harry Potter and the Oder of the Phoenix

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Who doesn’t love the Boy Who Lived?
That’s a rhetorical question.
If you don’t love him, we can’t be friends.
Don’t take it personally.

I’ve been listening to Harry Potter on audiobook lately, but I’m in the 5th book (you know, the one where Harry gets a little too emo for everybody’s tastes…), and having Johnny Raincloud in my ear doesn’t make running any more fun, unfortunately.

If anyone out there has any suggestions about how to pick up a new running buddy, PLEASE tell me. I’m dying a little over here.

Well geez, now that you’ve gotten me on the topic of my friendlessness I’m starting to sound like Harry in his Order of the Phoenix days. Maybe Hermione would make a good running buddy… she seems friendly enough, if not a little annoying.

Ps: An author of one of the blogs that I read, Caitlin over at Healthy Tipping Point, wrote a post about how she is having the exact same problem. Crazy, huh? It seems that a scarcity of running partners is going around. Sad day.