Archive | February, 2013

You will never believe this.

27 Feb

I know you won’t believe it because it happened to me and I’m still in shock.

Do you see that goal there? "to have a Baby Boy!" Totally not accomplished.

Do you see that goal there? “to have a Baby Boy!”
FAIL.

The unthinkable has happened. I am sitting at home and am still pregnant.

After a sleepless night last night, I got a call at 5am saying to come in for the induction and we arrived at the hospital about an hour later. I hadn’t dilated at all since my appointment last week, so they put some kind of drug (I can’t remember what it’s called) on my cervix to make it soften and dilate.

Over the course of the next 12 hours I started having contractions about 1.5-3 minutes apart, but they never really started to get painful or intense.

See the printout on the right? Those are my contractions!

Please refer to printout on the right for proof that I WAS actually having contractions.

My doctor finally came in and checked my progress and absolutely n.o.t.h.i.n.g. had changed during the 12 hours I had been there. What? Yes. No progress.

Our doctor gave us our options:
1. Go home and wait a few days
2. Have the doctor break my water and hope things got going

Even though the thought of having him break my water was really appealing at the time (because then we definitely would be having a baby within 24 hours), we realized that the risks were just too high. After all, nothing happened after the first round of drugs, so if there still was no progress after that I would just end up having to have a c-section. No thank you.

So here I am at home, hanging out with Michael and my mama (who traveled here just for this… sorry mom!), trying to figure out what to do for the next few days. Any ideas? Watch more 24? Um, yes, don’t mind if I do. Obviously there will be another few rounds of self-therapy self-tanning…

Induction pt. 2 coming Saturday, March 2. Stay tuned. Let’s hope this next round is more successful…

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12 Hours to Blastoff!

26 Feb
Does this picture look familiar? Yep, totally been here/done this before...

Does this picture look familiar? Yep, totally been here/done this before…

Sorry for the radio silence yesterday, I was busy getting all my last-minute plans taken care of. Just to update you, the NST went great and I am good to go for tomorrow morning at 6am! So yes, in case you were wondering, today was the longest day of my life. But, interestingly, the longest day for the exact opposite reason that Jack Bauer’s days are so long…

Yeah, I’ve been watching a lot of 24 to pass the time. No big deal.

I have a feeling that tonight will be even longer though. I’m a little worried that I’ll be going into labor without getting much sleep the night before, but I figure the night-before-a-race rule applies here (you know, the one that says it doesn’t matter how little sleep you get the night before the race as long as you got a lot two nights before? I’m hoping running marathons and giving birth translate to similar physical exertion).

So get excited because the next time you hear from me I will no longer be host to a fetus but will have a tiny little person living outside of my body. What? Yes, seriously. Bah! I can’t believe it!

Ps: Um, I have pretty much the best pals ever. Thank you all for the comments/advice/questions or for even just reading! You guys rock. Seriously. Just makes me so happy. Go buy yourself a frozen yogurt to celebrate how awesome you are. Mmm.

41 Week Bumpdate: Angry Edition

24 Feb
Um, yeah. I warned you about the self-tanning meltdown... And you probably should have seen the anger coming.

Um, yeah. I warned you guys about the self-tanning meltdown

Well, the Trifecta of Success ended up being ultimately unsuccessful in producing an end product. And actually unsuccessful in producing so much as a single labor contraction.

I ate two entire pineapples in two days.
I made like the pioneer children and walked and walked and walked and walked… and walked. And then I jogged.
I used evening primrose oil like a boss.
I even ate spicy food and tried some other tricks that are rumored to be successful in coercing babies out of their warm little aquarium homes.

But guess what. He stayed put. And I no longer have any faith in the old wives because their tales just don’t work.

This whole waiting to go into labor thing reminds me of two situations in my life:

1. 2nd grade. When my classmates lost a baby tooth, they got to stand in front of the class and tell about how it happened. With every day that passed and every child that came in with a new lost tooth, I became more and more horrified that my teeth all remained intact. I had a few wigglers, but none had taken the great plunge from their gummy home. All I wanted was to experience the magic of the tooth fairy, but my body was determined to make me the last miserable girl in the world to lose a single baby tooth. Eventually they disappeared, never to be seen again (well, not never to be seen again, because me and Jill found them all hidden in a box in my parents’ room circa 1998. Ew. I gag. But that’s a post for a different day…), but it took a lot of waiting before I was an all-permanent kinda girl.

2. Sex education, 6th grade. Having been previously warned by my mother, I knew the horrors that would begin to descend upon my body. Breasts. Hair. And the worst… menstruation (though that word wouldn’t enter my vocabulary for many more years). During sex education, one of the teachers asked my class of all girls who had started their period (I imagine this was an exercise to help these girls understand that they weren’t alone… but it had the exact opposite effect on the rest of us losers who hadn’t). The horror. I felt like the only girl without her hand in the air. And I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life (I would, however, be much more embarrassed in the future, when said period descended on a day when I was wearing khaki pants). Just like I had to wait for my permanent teeth (which were at this point covered in metal) to make their move, there was nothing I could do but wait to become a Woman.

Well.

Here I am, a little bit older and a tad bit wiser and still waiting for my body to get in sync (*nsyc. Love them.) with my mind. I know it will eventually happen, but in the meantime I feel like the elephant in the room all over again… (more literally this time around though). I guess I just didn’t learn my lesson the first time. Or the second… But one thing is for certain: this is definitely my very last bumpdate for a very long time!

Woman with a Plan

22 Feb

After yesterday’s disappointing news at the doctor’s office I hit the self-tanner pretty hard as a form of self-therapy. Yes, I deal with stress by turning my skin orange. Don’t judge, it certainly isn’t the worst form of stress-management out there. I guess having newly (and artificially)-bronzed skin makes me feel just a tad bit more attractive, which, I firmly believe, is very important during pregnancy.

You gotta do what you gotta do to feel cute, right? After all, a giant belly certainly doesn’t do much for the self-esteem, whether it be from a human baby or a food baby.

I was trying (unsuccessfully) to explain this whole concept to Michael last night while we were out shopping for some last-minute baby-time items… He couldn’t understand why I wanted the cheap neon orange sports bra over the cheap black sports bra to wear under my hospital gown.

Luckily, JCPenney filled that particular void in my life and I walked out of the mall with this fancy little thing (okay, honesty time… pregnancy has affected my body in such a way that the word ‘little’ isn’t super accurate when describing my bras anymore) for only $14:

Cute, no?

A flash of neon under my hospital gown? Don’t mind if I do!
And yes, I’ve already thought about how awesome this
color will look against my (fake) tanned skin.

Sorry, I was just so excited about that cute thing that I couldn’t help but share.

Ps: the reason I’m getting a bra specifically for labor is because my hospital is all about immediate skin-to-skin contact. I’ve read a lot about it and apparently it has all kinds of benefits for the baby. But. Babies are covered in all kinds of nastiness when they are… freshly squeezed… and I don’t want to be wearing a bra that I’ll use ever again. I just don’t want to live in a world where it’s acceptable to wear articles of clothing that have once been covered in blood and slime and baby poop.

Moving on… I have a plan. Forget about my hesitation from yesterday, this little boy is going to be out by midnight tomorrow night. I have all of the necessary protocols in place to make it happen.

Phase 1: These little cuties. No big deal, but I’ve already eaten an entire one. It got kind of brutal toward the end… and my tongue is now covered in tiny little blisters. But hey, if it gets the job done…

Apparently pineapples contain bromelain, an enzyme that can soften the cervix.

Apparently pineapples contain bromelain, an enzyme softens the cervix.

Phase 2: I’ve been walking pretty much all day long. 4 miles, to be exact. And yes, it did take this pregnant chick all day to accomplish this feat because I broke it up into mini sessions. And now my back is killllling me. But it will all be worth it when I’m holding a little baby boy in my arms rather than my uterus at midnight tomorrow.

Phase 3: Evening Primrose Oil. Chalk full of prostaglandins, the stuff that softens the cervix. I’m allll over this stuff.

This 3-phase plan is my Trifecta of Success and will get things going so that my goal is accomplished by midnight. I have never been more determined to make something happen in my entire life, so I know it will happen (do you see how I’m relying on the power of positive thinking to produce a son and heir? If only the European monarchs had as much optimism as I do).

I shall update you when the contractions begin. And they will begin soon.

No News

21 Feb

You know that saying ‘no news is good news’? Well turns out it’s a dirty lie.

I know this because I had a doctor’s appointment today and found out that not much is going on in terms of progress for me. I’m somewhere between 1 and 2 centimeters dilated and about 60% effaced. Just to recap, I was a little under 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced at my last appointment a week ago. Sigh.

All last week I could feel the little guy using his head as a battering ram against my cervix (which, btw, feels about as awesome as it sounds), so I was pretty sure I would see a bit more progress, but no dice. And I was planning on having my membranes stripped today but I wasn’t dilated enough. Sad day.

He (my doctor) also told me that I have a “pretty decent sized” little person in me, which, he went on to explain, means that the little monster is probably “only” 8 or 9 lbs. Does that seem gigantic to anyone else? Because I’m thinking it sounds absolutely huge.

On the bright side, I still have a few more days to process.

I’ve been thinking seriously all week about this whole “labor” thing… and also the whole “baby” thing, and it’s a little overwhelming. I mean, I obviously knew what the end result of my adventures through pregnancy was, but I’m feeling seriously, seriously under-qualified to deal with the massive project of raising a human baby into a successful adult.

So even though I feel like I’ve been waiting for years to go into labor, I’m really appreciating the extra time at this very moment.

One thing for sure is that I’m definitely down to days (and not weeks… or months…) because I have an induction scheduled for next week. The plan is that I’m going to go into the hospital for a Fetal Non-Stress Test (remember the last time I had one of those?) and if everything looks good I’ll be induced on Wednesday morning. 6 DAYS! What? I know, crazy.

Having an induction makes me really nervous that I won’t be able to do a natural birth. When labor is induced, doctors use a drug called Pitocin, a synthetic form of the hormone oxytocin which stimulates contractions. With Pitocin, however, contractions come a lot harder and stronger, making them waaay more painful than natural contractions… meaning that it’s much more difficult to deal with the pain. And. When labor is induced the chances of a cesarean increase as well.

I guess what this all boils down to is that I have had a bit of a stressful day trying to wrap my mind around everything. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m also (kinda) panicking a little. Only 6 more days of pregnancy… going into labor… the possibility of not being able to follow anything in my plan… coming home with a baby… my life changing forever… Yikes. That’s a lot to deal with.

Um, yes. Now that you’re thinking about it, I wouldn’t mind some words of advice… The countdown is on, after all, and I’m feeling the deadline coming up quick…

40 Week Bumpdate

18 Feb
This had better be the last bumpdate I write...

This had better be the last bumpdate I write…

Well, I’ve given the little guy an eviction notice. And considering the fact that my “bump” could be more accurately described as a boulder these days, I’m thinking he’s probably considering his options at this very moment… the clock is ticking, little boy! It’s time to make some decisions!

Things have really changed this week because I have so much more pressure on my pelvis. Walking around has actually gotten pretty painful if I stick to it for too long, not to mention that I need to pee constantly. The fact that I’ve recently been watching Parks & Recreation hasn’t helped that fact either…

Anyway, I made a deal with Michael (back when we were thinking the little guy would come early) that we could get ice cream every day I go over my due date. So yeah, I’m not terribly disappointed to go over 🙂

I’ll keep you all updated when things start moving, and in the meantime I’ll be sampling all 31 flavors at the Baskin Robbins across the street. Have a great week!

Valentine’s Day Fail

16 Feb
Can you appreciate the artistry in this picture? Um, yeah. I'm thinking of becoming a photographer.

Can you appreciate the artistry in this picture? Um, yeah. I’m thinking of becoming a photographer.

When Michael and I were dating, we spent our first Valentine’s Day eating takeout sushi from Happy Sumo in the parking lot of Y mountain. We had been engaged for a few months and were pretty in love with each other, so it was quite a romantic day (as per the fact that I demanded it be so), complete with cards, flowers, presents, music, and musing about our future together.

On our second Valentine’s Day we lived in Wymount Terrace and had been married for almost a year. Because Michael is a financially-minded accountant (and the fact that we were poor college students), we kept the day of love pretty low-key. In addition to being exceptionally frugal, Michael also would never acknowledge Valentine’s Day unless he had a sappy wife (luckily I fill that void in his life), so I planned the day and we ate takeout Happy sumo for a candle-lit picnic in our front room and then watched a chick flick. Such romance.

This year was a little different…

What's more romantic than making flashcards for your husband for Valentine's Day?

I’ve recently become really paranoid that Michael will forget everything he’s learned about labor in the heat of the moment, so I lovingly prepared flashcards for him as a Valentine’s Day present. Thoughtful Vday present, no?

I woke up feeling absolutely terrible because I was having a lot of contractions. At first I thought I might be in labor but after paying closer attention, I realized that the contractions weren’t regular and weren’t getting stronger, so I knew it was just a warm-up. When I went to my doctor’s appointment he told me that I’m a little less than 1 cm dilated and that he was “pretty confident it won’t happen today.”

Honestly, I was okay with that because I think it would be tough to be a boy and have your birthday on the girliest holiday out there. Plus his mom would turn his birthday into a pink and red affair every year… Yeah, I think that worked out for the best 🙂

See? Still there.

See? Still there.

I got home a little later and promptly went back to bed and spent the rest of the day in a painful haze. When Michael got home we went out for Thai food (no sushi when you’re pregnant, much to Michael’s relief) and frozen yogurt and then went to bed early. I feel really bad that I ruined Valentine’s Day, but I honestly wasn’t up to doing too much.

Don’t worry, Michael. I’ll make sure that next year is twice as romantic to make up for it 🙂

In the meantime, I have started to focus on other things. Like this:

The Bryce Canyon Half Marathon! {source}

The Bryce Canyon Half Marathon!
{source}

I registered for this race a few days after Christmas and then promptly forgot about it with all the preparations for Mr. Baby.

But.

The other day I had a dream that Michael and I were doing a triathlon together (I beat him) and since then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about getting back in shape.

Michael and I did this half marathon a few years ago and it is seriously such a good time.

How can a course with an elevation chart like this NOT be a good time? I mean really.

How can a course with an elevation chart like this NOT be a good time? I mean really.

I am so excited to do it again! Considering that I need to lose quite a bit of weight leading up to this race, I’m thinking that my chances of PR’ing are pretty remote (I ran it the first time in 1:56:04). If anything, this gives me a goal to work toward. And I’ll be able to spend some quality time with my first love: running. I’m thinking that April 1 will be the official start date of my serious weight loss/training program. Is it the worst idea to start on April Fool’s Day? I guess we’ll see!

I kind of can’t wait 🙂